Thursday, August 6, 2015

Your Feelings Are Valid

I think of this blog partially as a journal, a way to document my life. I like to keep my posts positive but sometimes I just don't feel so positive and that's ok. I know that my feelings are valid.

Over the past two months I've been experiencing a sharp pain on the top of my right foot. I went to my doctor who told me my shoes were too narrow, which seemed a little strange as I'd been wearing them for eight months. I bought new running shoes, took ibuprofen and iced per his recommendation. After two weeks I wasn't feeling any better. I reported back to my doctor who set up an x-ray and an appointment with a podiatrist. 

My doctor said that my x-ray was normal so I figured I was just being dramatic. I went into my podiatrist appointment expecting to be told I was fine and just needed more support in my shoes or something. Immediately the podiatrist told me that I have a stress fracture. He showed me the exact spot on the x-ray. He told me that I would need to wear a boot for the next 6-8 weeks and I can't workout or walk much. I panicked. I told him I was moving to New York in two and a half weeks and needed to find an apartment [apartments are extremely hard to get remotely so I'll be living in a hotel for the first week]. The doctor told me just to go slowly and find a new podiatrist in New York for a follow-up appointment in four weeks. 

After being fitted for the boot, I drove home in shock. I tried to tell myself that I'd be fine; this happens to people all the time. One day later I was so miserable from the pain in my hips and back [as a result of the imbalance caused by the boot] that I needed to overnight a shoe attachment to level me out. 

Even as I'm writing this I'm trying to create a positive spin---I'm too accustomed to avoiding negative talk in my posts. I want to say that in the past week of having this boot I've learned how to deal with it but honestly it's gotten me down. Yes I am slightly more functional with the shoe attachment and fortunately I'm working from home all this week. Sadly the boot is cumbersome and I have absolutely no energy. All the time. I've been trying to turn it around and figure out what I will learn from this. I'm sure there will be some lesson of patience but I'm not feeling that way right now and I'm finally accepted that my emotions are valid. This situation isn't fun and it's terrible timing [especially with the move]. It's alright to be upset and frustrated. And if anything I'm learning that my feelings are valid, which is a big thing to learn. I just want you to know if you're suffering from an injury, an unfortunate situation...even if others have dealt with it or something that seems worse...your feelings are still valid. 

I don't know how consistent I'll be with my blog and that angers me but it's part of life. Stuff happens. It's important to take care of ourselves.

Until next time...

Sending love to everyone!



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