Recently I’ve been thinking about relationships a lot.
Although I’m in a relationship with a wonderful man, I’ve had my share of rough breakups in the past. There is one
breakup that sticks out to me the most: the time I was broken up with in a
pool. Yes, it does sound funny to me now as well. The funnier thing is that it
wasn’t even a significant relationship. In fact, it was sort of a rebound
boyfriend but I used this breakup to get over multiple ex boyfriends in a weird
way.
After this breakup, I was initially crushed. I had stayed in
my college town for the summer for the first time. He was one of the only
people I knew in town that summer. Luckily I had a great support system and I
was able to focus on what matters most: myself.
In a way, this breakup was the catalyst in finding myself.
Today I want to share my best advice for getting over a break up and growing as a person through this journey. Let's jump right into it:
Today I want to share my best advice for getting over a break up and growing as a person through this journey. Let's jump right into it:
Set a Goal: the
most significant thing I did after this break up was train and complete my first
(and only) half marathon. I was never a runner but I worked as a personal
trainer and was extremely into fitness. One of my friends convinced me to sign
for the Nike Women’s Half Marathon in San Francisco. Although I worked out a
lot, I didn’t do much cardio and found it challenging (because running is
exhausting…). I secretly assumed I wouldn’t actually complete the half marathon
but when this break up happened, I knew I had to make it happen. I set up a
training plan for myself and hit the streets three mornings/week. As I blasted
“Rolling In The Deep” and pushed through that last (and steepest) hill at the
end of each run, I knew I was getting stronger and riding myself of the pain
from my past relationships.
Spend Time Alone: immediately
after this break up, I realized that I did not like being alone. I had been in
several relationships back-to-back and a lot of my confidence had come from
having someone else by my side. This was the prime opportunity to learn to
enjoy my own company. This was the hardest yet most beneficial lesson I
learned. I started small with at-home movie nights alone and graduated to
taking myself on dates (I love going to the movies solo now) and day trips (shopping in
Santa Barbara). At first I felt awkward but I learned to love doing things
alone and the best part is: you don’t need to follow anyone else’s schedule--it's kind of awesome.
This skill helped me immensely when I moved by myself to New York City to start
graduate school. I didn’t know a single person and needed this skill (of loving my along time) to stay
happy. Now I value my date nights AND alone time equally.
Listen to Empowering Music: music soothes the soul. I cannot tell you how many times I felt a a certain way, listened to a song, and suddenly experienced an entirely different emotion. During this particular break up, I listened to a lot of empowering female artists (Beyonce, I'm talking about you) and still associate those songs with growing into my own person. I personally really like this, this and this song.
Listen to Empowering Music: music soothes the soul. I cannot tell you how many times I felt a a certain way, listened to a song, and suddenly experienced an entirely different emotion. During this particular break up, I listened to a lot of empowering female artists (Beyonce, I'm talking about you) and still associate those songs with growing into my own person. I personally really like this, this and this song.
Treat Yo Self: I
want to preface this by saying—don’t drown your sorrows in Ben and Jerry’s.
What I mean by my favorite quote from Parks and Rec is: treat yourself to fresh
flowers, manicures, and massages. You need to fall in love with yourself and
treasure yourself therefore you deserve the best!
These things made a huge difference in my life and finding
myself after a rough break up. I hope these tips help you as well.
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