Monday, January 1, 2018

Welcome To The New Me

For a while, I’ve been thinking about what I wanted my first post of the new year to be. I really want to make this year about discovering myself and being true to myself, as I’m becoming that person. 

Over the past few years, I’ve changed a considerable amount. Not only have my experiences in New York shaped me, but I’ve become (and I’m still transforming) a different person. My body has gone from “curvy” within the realm of straight sizes to actually being plus size for the first time in my life. My confidence about my abilities in life are growing. I’m slowly learning to put less pressure on myself to make everything perfect--my perfectionist traits have hindered me so much from accomplishing my goals over the years. Over the past year, I’ve really started to learn how to stand up for myself and have found the confidence to not feel bad about it. I spent years being tortured internally, as the girl who was bullied relentlessly in middle school and was defined by relationships down the road. 

Although I have made huge strides and definitely have experienced self-doubt with my decisions at times, I’m not exactly where I want to be. I want to accept and love myself fully. And to be honest, I’m not there yet.

Last year was the first time I ever followed an unconventional body on social media. I’ve always admired petite fashion bloggers and unattainable fitness models--I assumed one day I'd look like them and followed them for inspiration. 2017 was really the first time that I accepted the changes in my body and wanted to surround myself with body diversity. I re-evaluated who I was following and looking up to on a daily basis. I started reading books and watching videos about body positivity. Slowly but surely, my head full of false notions—that the only desirable bodies are conventionally thin bodies—started to shift. I’m still not fully committed but I desperately want to be and surround myself with like-minded role models. Not only do I want to support these individuals but I, too, want to spread this message and be an advocate for body diversity. My main, and arguably most difficult, mission for 2018 is to become a space to share body positivity

Today, January 1st 2018, I've revamped my Instagram to reflect this mission. I've also restructured my blog to focus on content that is in align with my goals. I will continue to give advice and share fun times in New York City and beyond. I will also share more photos of myself and discuss more serious topics, around mental health.

Last night my mom sent me a quote that really resonated with me. I'll end this post with that quote:

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